History of the Beard: Part III The Fall of Rome

Today's instalment of History of the Beard focuses on the real reason the Pax Romana came to an end. Many historians have argued that the Roman Empire fell due to: an over extended Empire, outsourcing of its military, a loss of its Republic, and finally poor leadership. All of these factors undoubtably contributed to the Roman fall from power; however, I doubt it is purely coincidental that the losers (Romans) were beardless and the winners (the Huns) were bearded brutes. The massive manes of the Huns struck fear in the hearts of the Roman leaders and citizenry alike. Now not all Romans were beardless, for example the great Roman Emperor/Philosiphor Marcus Arelius and lets not also forget the legendary Roman Gladiator Maximus who killed the Roman Emperor Beardless Mcbitch Face. So the only logical conclusion we can come to in the presence of this overwhelming evidence is that the beard single folically maintained Roman supreamacy until a bigger better bearded peoples (the Huns) came in and started kicking their asses. The power of the beard once again proves its historical relivancy. Go BEARDS!